Bratz (US - DVD R1)
Troy reviews the film that's dumbing down children more than lead paint
Feature
Bratz is a film made for little girls about the thrills and excitement to be found in High School. Everyone of a certain age knows that this is a pipe dream, but the tykes will take this film to heart as though it was a documentary from Errol Morris. Parents should be bothered by that, but they’re too busying popping Ambien and knocking back Vodka/Red Bull cocktails. The children have run amuck, people. The toymakers, fashion designers and general trash wranglers know this and they’ve got a marketing plan.

Well, let’s take a look at what Mattel and the powers that be decided to throw together. Freshman year has just started for the four new girls at Carry Nation High School. Yasmin (Nathalia Ramos), Jade (Janel Parrish), Sasha (Logan Browning) and Cloe (Skyler Shaye) are the best of friends until they met the Ice Queen Meredith Dimly (Chelsea Staub). I don’t know why I keep putting the actress names up, if any of you people know who these people are, then you’ve probably been the cause of an Amber Alert or two. Two years pass and the four friends have been broken up by the school’s caste system. The girls still miss each other, but what can help bring them back together?
Honestly, if you care, if you give a damn about this flick…I want to smack you. COPPA laws should keep you from being here. But, I don’t know how stuff swings in England, so it might be all freaky deak and most of the people leaving comments might recall 1999 as being the good ol’ days. By some force of nature, I made my way to the finale and got to watch Jon Voight age before my eyes. The film’s more depressing than Night and Fog.

Video
LionsGate has had an off again/on again history of having DVD transfers that don’t match up with their original theatrical exhibition. The first LionsGate disc to bring this problem to light was Lord of War, sadly we’ve had several more occurrences since that release and Bratz is just one more for the pile. When I was creating the screen shots for this review, I noticed a lot of open room to the sides of the image. A lot of this comes from taking an HD master out of the camera and trying to choose two positions for theatrical and home viewing.
The compromise isn’t too horrible, but you’re still losing information off the sides of a given shot. It’s unfortunate that LionsGate chose to do such things with the release, but if it sells…it sells. The transfer as it stands is extraordinarily clear and doesn’t run into problems until later scenes with huge mobs of characters. Given that the production team saw fit to stuff the Carry Nation High School with enough extras to choke a horse, the problem surfaces several times throughout the presentation.

Audio
The Dolby Digital 5.1 audio track is too big for a film where the greatest sound expanse is during a food fight or one of their girls’ hi-jinks. Still, it’s nice to see such commitment to all titles on the audio level. Dialogue and forward audio is located discretely in the front channels, while the back channels only come into play during larger scenes and the musical numbers. It’s a great sound design for a film that could’ve been overlooked. But, your average ten year old girl probably won’t care, as long as the movie plays without skipping.
Extras
The DVD is pretty impressive for such a lacklustre film. Seven deleted scenes, two music videos, a director’s commentary and an army of featurettes flood the disc. The audio and video quality on these special features differs wildly, but everything is presented in a clear and pristine manner. It’s clear by the second music video or the seventh deleted scene that the film is nothing more than a cash-in on the toy brand. It’s just sad that we have to watch outtakes of Jon Voight losing his credibility while enduring this tripe.

Overall
Bratz is a film that dictates in glittery paint what’s wrong with youth-focused American pop culture. Everything is a step away from ADHD and McDonald’s tie-ins. There’s no story left for kids that can’t even stop texting long enough to read this review. So, in the spirit of kids with little-to-no detention span, I’ve decided to end this review by texting this last bit in from my Blackberry. LOL and all of that noise, avoid this disc.
Review by Troy Anderson
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Existing Posts
Troy, you must buy a lottery ticket now especially after having to review this tripe...
Chris Gould wrote: TroyAnderson wrote: It runs the gamut. Plus, the girls start off at age 14 and work their way up the ladder.
What, the actresses? That's commitment to the part.
The characters.
But, following that logic ruins the joke.
What, the actresses? That's commitment to the part.
The characters.
But, following that logic ruins the joke.
I hear they're doing a sequel called Fatz, 'cause obese kids need lovin' as well...
TroyAnderson wrote: It runs the gamut. Plus, the girls start off at age 14 and work their way up the ladder.
What, the actresses? That's commitment to the part.
What, the actresses? That's commitment to the part.
At least the Poster was cool....
I remember the trailer giving away every single thing that happened in the film.
I cant believe you would even bother writing a review, let alone watching it.
I remember when I saw the trailer in the theaters, it looked so-so. But when the word "Bratz" came up on the screen, i knew it was going to suck BIG TIME!
I remember when I saw the trailer in the theaters, it looked so-so. But when the word "Bratz" came up on the screen, i knew it was going to suck BIG TIME!
I wouldn't even DARE to watch this stupid junk. It's just an ugly movie with ugly girly dolls that are just made for little girls. And their eyes are pretty ugly.
I have been saying this since the release of the movie...
"Is it the BEST movie ever made? Far from it. Is it the Worst movie ever made? No not even"
But to give it a ONE is kinda a insult its a 5-6 at best!
Sure the lead girl cant sing herway out of a paper bag but there were a few quite funny moment (Clowns) the soundtrack on CD is WAY Better then the film which is kinda sad but the way people rip this movie apraty is kinda screwy! Its not the best but not the worst but a OK Way to kill 90 mins of your day!
"Is it the BEST movie ever made? Far from it. Is it the Worst movie ever made? No not even"
But to give it a ONE is kinda a insult its a 5-6 at best!
Sure the lead girl cant sing herway out of a paper bag but there were a few quite funny moment (Clowns) the soundtrack on CD is WAY Better then the film which is kinda sad but the way people rip this movie apraty is kinda screwy! Its not the best but not the worst but a OK Way to kill 90 mins of your day!
'Honestly, if you care, if you give a damn about this flick…I want to smack you.'
That is the best line of the review! But, I definitely feel for you in that you had to sit down and watch this garbage and review it here. It's sad and pathetic to know that parents are willing to allow their daughters be subjected to this bulls**t. I for one, will never allow my kids to watch this garbage.
That is the best line of the review! But, I definitely feel for you in that you had to sit down and watch this garbage and review it here. It's sad and pathetic to know that parents are willing to allow their daughters be subjected to this bulls**t. I for one, will never allow my kids to watch this garbage.
This movie looked like dog s**te. Good to know that my expectations were confirmed. I shook my head in shame at all the people who walked out of this movie at my theater.
It runs the gamut. Plus, the girls start off at age 14 and work their way up the ladder.
Except paedophiles generally favour children, not people in their late teens.
I tried to stay away from the pedophile jokes, while writing this review. But, the way that McNamara choosed to shoot the flick almost turns into a real pederass exploitation vehicle for all the wrong people.
I really do not envy you, Troy...
the funniest part is the commercials i saw for the movie dolls...they look EXACTLY like the regular ones except that it mentions the movie on the packaging. and i thought barbie was the queen of releasing pointless dolls if you already own em.
I had a feeling this would suck since the director normally does TV movies for the Disney Channel. Nuff said.
Happy to have passed it along buddy!


Some material may not be suitable for children
Disc Details
Release Date:
27th November 2007
Discs:
1
Disc Type:
Single side, dual layer
RCE:
Yes
Video:
NTSC
Aspect:
1.78:1
Anamorphic:
Yes
Colour:
Yes
Audio:
Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles:
English and Spanish
Extras:
7 Deleted Scenes, 2 Music Videos, 12 Featurettes Covering the Production, Director's Commentary
Easter Egg:
No
Feature Details
Director:
Sean McNamara
Cast:
Nathalia Ramos, Janel Parrish, Skyler Shaye, Logan Browning, Chelsea Staub, Lainie Kazan and Jon Voight
Genre:
Comedy
Length:
102 minutes
Ratings
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