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Feature


Piper Perabo stars as Violet, a New Jersey waitress who moves to New York to make it big as a songwriter. Just like the Bad News Bears, the Mighty Ducks, and the 1980 US Olympic hockey team, she is forced to surmount gigantic obstacles and odds to find her heart-warming third act triumph. Fortunately, Violet is a hotty, and she scores a job at a local dive bar called Coyote Ugly, where the bartenders are all scantily clad hotties who dance on the bar and pour water on their shirts. Because the record industry appreciates hotties, Violet has no problem getting her crappy demo sold within record time, despite her distinctly un-hotty father’s disapproval.

Coyote Ugly: Extended Edition
Coyote Ugly is a terrible movie that is effectively a mix of two other less terrible movies— Showgirls and Cocktail. The problem being that Showgirls and Cocktail both have an inherent humour in their over-the-top bawdiness, which Coyote Ugly is lacking thanks to its initial PG-13 rating. This Blu-ray disc contains the racier ‘unrated’ version (including brief boobage), but in comparison there’s still no reason to watch the film over the other two. Okay, maybe over Cocktail.

This is a movie based on a real life bar chain. Think about that for a second. A screenwriter sat down and wrote a fictional account of something that could’ve occurred at a hot chick hiring bar chain. Basing the heroine’s hopes and dreams around Coyote Ugly bar is only a half step away from basing them in Hooters restaurants. In fact, I think I’d rather see a movie called Hooters about a trailer trash blonde who’s only way out of the park is a job jiggling her breasts at the local Hooters, where she’s discovered by a talent agent who helps her find a lucrative career in soft core porn. In fact, I don’t ‘think’ anything, I’d definitely see that movie.

Coyote Ugly: Extended Edition
I’m not willing to put any real effort into a critical dissection of Coyote Ugly, because everyone involved in the process of making it knew it was stupid before it was even finished filming (and those that didn’t deserved what they got). In its favour, the film is well made for placating crap, it’s colourfully photographed, the performances aren’t terrible (Maria Bello and Melanie Lynskey, yay!), the ladies are attractive, and I’m sure thirteen year old boys were made happy by its tame and teasing nature.

Video


I’ve only seen Coyote Ugly on television, so I have no real point of reference between this release and the DVD releases. This isn’t among the top Blu-ray transfers I’ve seen, but it gets the job good and done. The torsos are smooth, the cheeks are rosy (both kinds), the black tank tops are truly black, and the red tank tops are effectively red. Compression is almost entirely absent, but the whole film is surprisingly grainy for a hi-def disc, and I did notice a few instances of print damage flicker every once and a while. The chaotic and dimly lit bar scenes are especially grainy, and sometimes the film’s overall blue tint sort of sucks the darkness out of some of the blacks.

Coyote Ugly: Extended Edition

Audio


As per the norm, I still can’t get the Uncompressed PCM track to work correctly on my system (in fact, I could barely turn it off). This release does not include the DTS tracks found on the previous DVD releases, but the Dolby Digital 5.1 track is plenty acceptable. The centre channel, which is dialogue heavy, is a little bit too loud, but the voices are clean. The surround channels aren’t particularly lively (a little bit of cheering, some rain, glasses clanking), but the stereo and LFE channels pump the music efficiently (though I swear, if I have to hear ‘Battle Flag’ one more time it will be too soon).

Extras


Blu-ray technology allows room for both the PG-13 and unrated versions, along with a decent collection of extras, though one wonders who would ever watch the child friendly cut when given the option of both versions. The extras are a straight dupe from the two previous DVD releases, so nothing new for all you fans out there, unfortunately. There are a total of four commentary tracks on the disc—sort of. Technically there are four, but number four is really a mix of the first three. The separate tracks are available only during the playback of the theatrical version and the combined track is only available during the playback of the unrated version (yet another reason to prefer the unrated version).

Coyote Ugly: Extended Edition
The ‘Coyotes’ commentary is like being trapped in a sorority as chatty chicks with nothing to say yammer on and on about their hair (I’m really only exaggerating a little). Tyra Banks is the worst offender, craving attention and interrupting others left and right to talk about herself, as if anybody cares. I lasted about fifteen minutes. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s track is scene specific, as is director David McNally’s, which means we don’t have to watch the whole movie to hear what they have to say. Both tracks are relatively informative, and do not overlap. The runtimes are shockingly short as well, Bruckheimer’s runs about four minutes and McNally’s just over five. Really, the mix track would be the way to go.

Next are seven minutes of deleted scenes, some of which seem to have made their way into the unrated version. The scenes are mostly little unnecessary plot details and character beats, and they are anamorphically enhanced, but not hi-def or 5.1 friendly. These are followed by a LeAnn Rimes music video, a terrible, terrible LeAnn Rimes music video. Eleven minutes worth of casting featurettes (entitled ‘Search for the Stars’), three minutes of music production featurette (entitled ‘Inside the Songs’), and the six and a half minute look at the pretend Coyote Ugly bar (entitled ‘Coyote 101’) will drown you in fluff before they’re finished. ‘Action Overload’, a compilation of the film’s more wacky moments, on the other hand, may be the preferred way to view such a terribly terrible movie. Trailers finish things off.

Coyote Ugly: Extended Edition

Overall


Boxofficemojo.com lists Coyote Ugly’s production budget at $80 million. I hope that’s a typo. The domestic take was $60 million, apparently, which isn’t particularly impressive, so Buena Vista’s continuous re-releasing is a little odd. I suppose one cannot argue with the power of Jerry Bruckheimer. If this is one of your guilty pleasures, and I’m not one to judge, then I suppose Blu-ray is the way to go.

* Note: The images on this page are not representative of the Blu-ray release.


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