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Did you ever see a movie that you were so sure you had seen before, only done better? This is the exact feeling we get with Kiss the Bride. Although it is unclear, this film seems to be about what happens to the relationships that four sisters have with various people when the entire family gets together for middle-child Danni’s (Amanda Detmer) wedding. The film jumps from character to character showing how a relationship may crumble with one person, but grow with another. It gets very messy.

Kiss the Bride
Funny enough, the film has a fairly promising start. We meet main girl Danni and her parents as a voice-over tells the story so far. The film also competently sets up what is going on and what may happen later, with some nice foundation work and humour about the Italian family living in Rhode Island. About ten minutes in, however, we are then bombarded with a large number of characters before we’ve even really had a chance to learn about the main one.

Once all the characters are introduced, they get literally no development. There is a quick dinner scene where we learn that one guy is a sleaze, one girl is on a television show that stirs mixed feelings and one sister is a lesbian in a moment so un-subtle that it may as well be in a Rob Schneider movie. Other than that, we get old boyfriends out of no-where, people who break up even though we didn’t know anything was wrong in the relationship, the possibility that two people may have an affair and that someone is unhappy with their relationship with their siblings. Wait a moment, we’re still here at the dinner scene, so where is the movie? Who are most of these people? Things happen so fast that there is no development and therefore it is hard to relate to anyone or even know who half the people are.

Examples of the lack of development can be seen with the relationship between sister Niki (Brooke Langton) and her former boyfriend Tom (Sean Patrick Flannery). At one point of the film, you will think for a moment they are introducing yet another character into this over-crowded film, only to realise later that this actually is the same person. The film spends so little time on the characters that when the two start playing with getting back together you wonder how it all happened. They seem to have spent pretty much no time together in the film, making the relationship very empty. Each relationship between the characters is pretty much the same so when there is a confrontation or an attempt at plot advancement, you’re left confused as to the new issue at hand.

Kiss the Bride
Even the talent here seems to be totally bored by this film, with pretty much everyone giving a performance that screams “get me out of here”, most noticeably from Rocky stars Talia Shire and Burt Young. Shire can’t seem to decide which accent to use and Young looks like he just sat there the whole time and had someone do a voiceover for him later. All the familiar faces (such as Jonathon Schaech, Monet Mazur, Sean Patrick Flannery and Alyssa Milano) aren’t given much screen time but with their performances they seem to come across like they were only on set for a few days and had to (or wanted to) get it over with a soon as possible.

The film is also poorly edited. Usually people don’t notice this but here it seems that either the budget was too small or the filmmakers wanted to save time by taking (very noticeable) shortcuts. This is evident in flashback scenes which two of the sisters have. In both instances a blue ash is put over the film, and when the flashback is over, the younger versions of the characters actually stay on screen and just walk off like in a stage play. What may have been deliberate comes across as very sloppy. There are also shots which have been noticeable sped up for no real reason as well as some jarring cuts between long shots and close-ups along the way. Deliberate? Probably not.

Kiss the Bride
Kiss the Bride is a film which fails on so many levels you have to think that something must have gone wrong during production. This film is something that My Big Fat Greek Wedding covered in much greater detail, as neither the characters or their culture is developed at all here. If you want a good wedding movie find something else. Anything else. Just avoid this train wreck.

Video
The video is presented in 1.85:1 and doesn’t look too bad overall despite exhibiting a few visual errors along the way. There are some light grain levels, but this is much less of an issue when we get the occasional flicker of film artefacts. Although it is occasional, it is so noticeable that after a while you’ll be reaching for the tracking button on your VCR remote out of habit. Otherwise, colours look nice and vibrant with a decent range. Not much shadow detail to assess and skin tones seemed fine, making this a mid-range transfer at best.

Kiss the Bride
Audio
The only audio option is a Dolby 5.1 track in English. First question: Was this really a 5.1 track? It is pretty hard to tell as the surrounds draw pretty much no attention to themselves. There might have been some music coming out of the rears at various stages but it’s wishful thinking to expect anything else from this track. Second question: Was the sub ever used in this movie? Apparently not. There are problems all over the place here with the dialogue frequently being out of synch (perhaps a result of dodgy ADR work, admittedly) and there are lots of clicks and interference along the way to make things worse. Quite a poor soundtrack, with the only positive aspect being the musical line-up, basically.

Extras
We start off with a collection of 21 stills from the film. Most of these are of Monet Mozur and Alyssa Milano as well as the wedding. There are also cast bios for eight of the key players including Sean Patrick Flannery, Moet Mazur, Alyssa Milano and Jonathon Schaech.

Finishing off the extras are a total of eight trailers, none of which are for Kiss the Bride. Trailers included here are Japanese Story, The Rage in Placid Lake, I’m With Lucy, Laurel Canyon, My Wife is an Actress, The Best Man’s Wedding, Va Saviour, and Respiro.

Although the photos are good to look at, this disc is a dead zone for extras.

Kiss the Bride
Overall
Kiss The Bride can only be described as a film which starts off average then becomes bad then only becomes worse. Most of the people in this movie have shown that they are capable of some great work, but here all is wasted in a film so poorly made it becomes a joke. The DVD seems to be a throwaway deal as well, as the picture has some really irritating issues and the audio is just a mess. Extras fall flat as well. This one will surely be one for the budget bins if it is not there already.


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